To My Shattered Heart

Dear Shattered Heart,

Yes, I feel you. Your shattered ache penetrating every part of my chest. I remember the one night when I felt your tendrils of pain creep all the way into my fingertips. Sheer agony. But at least then I knew why I hurt. Tonight, I can only wonder. And ponder. And write.

Why do you hurt? Is it for him? Surely not. You desire to hear from him, but you do not doubt his faithfulness. There is something deeper, that not even a letter from him could soothe. Something beyond his love and care.

Perhaps it is because of HIM. The one true Love of your life. The Ever Faithful, Ever True. Do you remember what words I spoke just a few nights ago? The words that supposedly came straight from my heart - from you? "When we come to God, we find true life. When we discover that gift, we treasure it. Finally, we pursue the opportunities to live for Christ in all we do. Only then can we be wholly alive. Only then can we truly live as God has destined us to live."

Are you crying out for Him? All the pangs, all the distraught worries of life have accumulated. You have found life, and you treasure and pursue it. But what about the harsher facets of life? Along with the joy you have discovered the terror and horror. Inadequacy. Fear. Pain. Remorse. Regrets. Tears. Death. Bitterness. And now you cry out, for you have no where else to turn. You want to talk; you wish you could, but how? And to whom? Nothing is exactly wrong, so how can I say it is? And how am I - are you - to express that which I do not fully understand myself?!

Turn to God, O Shattered Heart. For He understands all. And when I lay you down before Him - when you pour out your contents upon His altar - that staggering burden is lifted. Peace is restored. Hope rises. Joy flickers into a tiny ember. Confidence may not return in full force; in fact, you crawl to God like a little child. Yet you know that you are safe. After being batttered by the storms of this life, you find solace in "the shadow of His wings." You are like a child who, frightened by the raging thunderstorm, curls up and sleeps in peace within her mother's arms. Comforted. Loved. Healed. Soothed.

Have your walls come down now, O trembling heart? Has your barricade dissolved? In the presence of an all-knowing God, they are quite pitiful. He knows all. And more than that, He understands all. So let Him enter as the Victor. Surrender to His love - it is a sweet surrender. And then, O Shattered Heart, find yourself remade. Without a crack or fracture, and stronger than before. Made whole. You may still feel incomplete, but find satisfaction in Him who supplies that which you do not have.

Do not cry, my Shattered Heart. Do not let the pain consume you. Turn to Him. Go to Him. And place your beating, throbbing, bleeding, broken self within His hands. And He will heal your wounds.

Sincerely,
Your Lauren